Photo used with written permission from Zenonas Meskauskas https://www.flickr.com/photos/zenonas/34947565136/sizes/l .

Ten years ago today, I began The Unquiet Librarian blog.   It’s hard to believe a decade has passed, but the years have passed in the blink of an eye.  When I began blogging, I simply did it to have a space to reflect on my practice, period.  So many other great librarians were writing and sharing their work, and I thought how fun it would be for me to do so, too.

Ten years and 800 posts (!)  later, very few of the librarians who were blogging then are still doing so.  The entire landscape of social media has changed (not for the better, I fear), and so has librarianship.  This blog has reflected my professional journey as a librarian for nine years and then back to the classroom this past year; it has been one with many unexpected turns and twists.  In recent years, I’ve felt a little like Odysseus trying to find my way back “home” to a space where I could do what I’ve always aspired to do:  that is to simply do good work that is meaningful and to be respected for it.  The last five years have definitely presented many tests and challenges, and I am proud to say I feel I passed them with as much as grace and dignity as I could even when things were messy and less than ideal.  This is not to say I had moments of questioning or when I stumbled, but overall, I feel I passed the tests that were thrown my way.  I am also thankful for the clarity and understanding that these trials have brought as well as the amazing people I’ve been blessed to befriend in the last four years.

I have always tried to keep learning at the center of my reflective writing and shared openly in hopes that not only would doing so bring me insights and push my thinking, but I also hoped that perhaps my writing help others along the way, too. I am proud that I have blogged this long, and even prouder that I did some of the best work of my entire career after I had won several major professional accolades in the library profession.  I am even prouder that I continued writing and reflecting in the midst of tremendous professional and personal adversity and upheaval.  I am proud I kept my blog my own and did not commercialize it even though there were several opportunities to do so.

A year ago, I made a very deliberate decision to leave the library profession and return to the classroom.   There were many reasons for making this choice, but ultimately, I needed to be in a positive space where I could dwell in teaching and learning and innovate with support and encouragement instead of being marginalized or ostracized for those passions.  More importantly, I missed having my very own community of learners that I could connect with daily in deep and authentic ways.   I realized the library was no longer the space that allowed for these needs, and I returned to my first love where my career began:  the English Language Arts classroom.  I can now say without any hesitation and with absolute certainty that this decision was the best thing I could have done for myself both professionally and personally.  This is not to say there were not times of doubt and questioning in the last twelve months, but I can now see these moments were signs of the growth I was undergoing.  I have also learned throughout my life questioning and doubt give you opportunities to really think about what you believe in (both professionally and personally) and what matters most.  I am forever thankful to Chestatee Academy principal Jennifer Kogod for believing in me and supporting me—she never doubted in my ability to transition back to the classroom successfully.  That confidence and faith were and continue to be invaluable to me as she shares my passion for literacy and learning.  The freedom I’ve been allowed as an educator during the last year has been the catalyst enabling and fueling tremendous growth for me as a teacher and as a person.

I am also indebted to my CA students in grades 6, 7, and 8 of this past year.  You pushed me and challenged me to think about everything I thought I knew about Language Arts and writing instruction, and I became a better person and teacher for it.  I hope that I was able to give as much to you as you gave to me.   You have my love and know I will always be in gratitude for our time together this past year.  I will forever cherish all of the moments when I saw you grow and even more importantly, when you recognized your own growth as a writer and learner.

Being back in the classroom has not only fueled my energy and passion for teaching, learning, and literacy, but it also has helped me emerge from the long dark tunnel of grief that has imbued every aspect of my life since my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in June 2013 and all that followed for the next ten months and then aftermath of her passing.   This is not to say I still do not have moments of immense sadness because I do, but teaching and learning with my students and fellow teachers has helped me re-calibrate my inner compass and to feel happiness again.  Teaching in the classroom again has given me a sense of purpose and meaning, and frankly, it has saved me—I do not say that lightly.  After seeing so much ugliness in life between 2013 and 2015, I was losing myself.    Being in the classroom again, even with all the challenges teachers face, has renewed my sense of optimism and faith in the good of humanity.  I know my mother would be so happy to see me teaching with joy and feeling a sense of hope and excitement about life.   In addition, the steadfast friendships that have remained in spite of so much adversity, the encouragement from colleagues near and far, and your prayers have helped me continue to draw upon the inner fortitude instilled in me by mother and beloved grandmothers to arrive at this place.

Though the space where I do this work is different, my commitment to inquiry, literacy learning, and doing quality, authentic work remains as steadfast as ever, if not more so.   However, it no longer makes sense to reflect and write here on this blog; therefore, this is my last post at The Unquiet Librarian.  However, I will leave the site up as an archive of my work and journey for you as well as for me.   This decision was not an easy one, and I am thankful to all who supported me as I wrestled with this decision, including Brian Mathews, Joe Fox, Jennifer Lund, and Anastasia Diamond-Ortiz.  It would have been easy to have continued blogging in this space, but those who know me well know I am not apt to take the path of least resistance (for better or for worse).  This space simply no longer fits, but I am thankful for the time that it did.

I am thankful to all of you who have supported my writing, thinking, and work for the last ten years in this space. Though there are many who have served as a point of light, I would be remiss if I did not thank Brian Mathews (formerly of The Ubiquitous Librarian).  Brian not only inspired me with his blogging from the beginning of my career until he ended his blog in 2015, but he was also the person whose quality of reflective thinking I aspired to do in my own blog.  In addition, he has been a sounding board and a source of sage professional advice at key points in my life in recent years.   I am also indebted to the teachers, students, librarians, and fellow educators whose stories have filled this blog and the work embedded in it.

The beauty of letting go of something is that you are free to grasp new opportunities and to embark on new paths.  I sincerely hope you will join me at my new blog, Living in the Layers.  I will continue to reflect on all things learning and literacy as well as read, write, and revise my practice as a Language Arts and Literacy educator wherever the next decade takes me. It seems fitting to begin my new blog, inspired by Stanley Kunitz’s poem “The Layers”, today on Independence Day as I embark on this new phase of my work as a literacy educator.   As the header image for my new blog (pictured below) implies, sometimes we must be brave and courageous to venture into places we might not go in order to make those turns and moves that will “clear our vision” of what once was and to begin to see what can be.

50 thoughts on “The Unquiet Librarian: An Epilogue

  1. So sorry to see you go, as I’ve followed your blog since I was an aspirant “wanna be” student of library science reschooling myself. But as part of the blogging hey-days in 2006-2011 and now a still sometimes blogger I can fully understand your frustration with the death and dearth of the platform and its replacement by the uncurate-able and quite shallow FB and twitter. Keep up the good work on literacy and relationships – because that’s what it’s about, whether in the library or in the classroom.

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    1. Thank you Nadine for the kind words! But as I shared in the blog, I’ll be blogging in my new space, and I hope you’ll still follow. It’s not the medium or platform that was problematic–I’m just out of the library profession now, and it doesn’t make sense to keep blogging here though I’m proud of the work over the years. I agree with you 100%–it is all about literacy and the relationships! Thank you for reading, and I hope you’ll join me over at https://livinginthelayers.com/ –my first “real” post will be up tomorrow!

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    1. David—thank you so much. I had just really come to the point where I realized I needed to be back in the classroom and that librarianship was no longer fulfilling for me on so many levels, but I’m thankful I am able to help young people and do something meaningful. I have no doubt that my time as a librarian enabled me to become a much better classroom teacher, and I am eternally grateful for that outcome and the experiences that have shaped me. Thank you for always having a kind word for me and an open ear in all seasons of life—I will always cherish the ways you influenced my thinking and the kindness you showed me and my mother during her illness. With profound appreciation, Buffy

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  2. Your words have been a beacon of light and guidance for many, many of us in the library arena. Thank you for stretching our thinking and inspiring us through your own journey. Wishing you the very, very best in all your future endeavors, and I look forward to seeing you in your new blog space. Thanks for your leadership in the library media world and for your inspiration the last ten years!

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    1. Lindsay—your words just remind me of what a great honor and privilege it is to be part of a community of educators like you. I so appreciate your kind words, and to be able to help or inspire others in any way is such a blessing, truly. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and I am excited about the upcoming school year and the new blog. With deep appreciation, Buffy

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  3. I have followed your blog and related so many times to your words and experience. I am happy to hear that your decision was one that brought you happiness. I totally understand your reasons for going back to the classroom. Being a librarian is rewarding as well as frustrating, and that deep connection with the kids is often lost and I do feel that my colleagues are not appreciating and understanding what I want to offer the children and to them. I remember first reading about your mom and her battle with cancer, and your wonderful support and journey with her through that difficult time. Time does make it a little better, but you will always miss her but each time you make a difference you are honoring her. For she lives in you and all that she gave you as a mom to be a productive person. Good luck with your new journey!

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    1. Brenda, you perfectly described the emotional roller coaster that we feel as librarians. I will always remember and carry with me what you said about every time I make a difference that I’m honoring my mother—what a beautiful, beautiful thought! If I can live my life in all ways to embody the qualities and values my mother instilled in me, then that is truly a tribute to all she did for me. Thank you for the kind words and for reading my blog. I wish you the best for the upcoming school year!

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  4. Thank you, as always, for sharing your journey with all of us. Your humility, passion, vulnerability, bravery, and curiosity are a great model for educators and students. I can’t wait to follow your next adventures!

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    1. Cathy—as always, you awe me with your words. You have inspired me with your work and example over the years, and I’m proud to call you my friend. I’m excited about the new adventures ahead and will be referencing your blog posts and ideas, especially since I’m moving back up to 11th and 12th high school in August! Big hugs, Buffy

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  5. I am very sorry to see this blog end, but I am excited to see the adventures continue in your new role. I, too, left the English classroom ten years ago to become a librarian. I have loved my job, but more and more I am missing my own classroom. I don’t know yet if I will return to teaching English, but I will follow your journey with great interest. Good luck and God Bless!!

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    1. Hi Patrice! Thank you for the kinds words! You know I understand that pull back to the classroom! The library is a wonderful learning space—there are so many unique things about it, but even in the best of circumstances, I think those of us who truly loved teaching before our library careers always miss classroom life even if we don’t return it. Thank you for reading the blog and staying with me on the journey! I wish you the best for your upcoming school year and God bless you as well! With heartfelt thanks, Buffy

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  6. Although I have never commented before, your blog has been an inspiration and a guide in my own journey as a librarian. Your honesty and bravery in your willingness to share both the practical and emotional aspects of your life as a librarian helped me grow and learn as a professional, both in my practices and my ability to allow myself to be vulnerable. Thank you and I look forward to reading about your new adventures.

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    1. Jennifer—your words truly humble me! I think about how many people impacted my practice with their generous and brave sharing on their blogs, and I’m honored that I’ve been able to do the same. Thank you for reading my blog and for joining me in the new space! Very best, Buffy

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  7. I almost freaked out until you mentioned the new blog! So glad your voice will still be out there. Glad you’re leaving it up; it’s an archive of some of the smartest thinking out there.
    Smokey Daniels

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    1. Smokey!!!! Thank you for all of your encouragement and support—-when I attended the workshop in Santa Fe in January 2016, I knew for sure it was time to go back to the classroom. I am humbled by your kind words, and I hope to do the same quality of work (and hopefully a little better!) starting in August! I’ll be teaching 11th and 12th Language Arts at Lanier High in Gwinnett County. I have great expectations for this upcoming school year! Stay tuned for the first blog post on the new blog tomorrow–you and Nancy are all over it!!! 🙂 With gratitude, Buffy

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  8. Buffy, I will miss your blog about librarianship very much. Your work was a huge inspiration to me when I transitioned from high school history teacher of 31 years to middle/high librarian at Rabun Gap-Nacoochee School, in 2006. I have followed your sorrow as well, and I lost my husband of 30 years in 2014. I left Rabun Gap after 35 years, in 2013, and now work in a public middle school as a school librarian. Things in our profession have changed drastically, and I have always relied on you as a sort of compass for what my real work should be, as well as my own long experience in the history classroom. Things have moved so far from those days. I will follow your new blog as I have always admired your passion for inquiry and honing of a craft…writing, in this instance. I am sad that your strong librarian voice of rigor and scholarship will be missing for our field, but I know that this change is absolutely right. Good luck, Buffy. Fair wind and following seas as you move forward. All the best.

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    1. Candace: First, you have my deepest sympathy on the the passing of your husband. Though time might soften the pain and loss, the void of a loved one and the life you had before that person passed is always there.

      Secondly, thank you for those kind words about the blog—it was truly such a hard decision to walk away and archive it. It was similar to the feelings I first had when I first started thinking it was time to leave librarianship—I had invested so much of my heart and soul into the field. As you pointed out, things have shifted and changed dramatically over time in our profession, and those of us who have been in it for the long haul like you and I are probably more attuned to these changes.

      Thank you for those thoughtful reflections, and I am honored that the blog has been a help to you in your journey as a librarian and educator. I am also happy you’ll be following over at the new space. I’m excited about many new ideas and strategies I hope to implement this fall, and I can’t wait to see what my students and I learn together. Again, thank you for the beautiful sentiments you’ve expressed so eloquently. With deep respect and appreciation, Buffy

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  9. As someone who left the teaching profession and has just recently returned as a librarian a couple of years ago, I found your blog to be inspirational. It was always passionate and student centred. I loved the way it reminded me of my early years of teaching during which I KNEW that the more I put in, the more the students and I would get out of it in return. I will definitely follow you to your new online destination to continue getting my `fix’.

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    1. I hope that we are in the midst of a sea-change back to a student centered climate in public education—though so many of us pushed back against the fallout of the testing culture, it has been a hard fought battle to turn to the tide. I hope it is a trend that will continue! I’m feeling more energized than ever here in my 25th year in education, and I’m looking for awesome things during the 2017-18 year! I am delighted you’ll be following the new blog, and I hope to have lots of interesting and exciting new experiences to share in the new space! Thank you for those considerate and reflective thoughts. Very best, Buffy

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  10. Buffy you gave so many of us leadership, mentorship and an affirmation we were on the right track. Your thoughts, words and practice have reached corners you will never know and kids all over the world are the richer for them. While you are a huge loss to our profession, you are a huge gain to a broader one. All the best-we will try to carry on making school libraries the place they should be in the lives of our staff and students.

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    1. Barbara: I have tears in my eyes as I read and re-read your words of solidarity, encouragement, and affirmation. I love being in the trenches side by side with my colleagues and my students, and to be able to help someone along the way and put positive energy back into the world…well, that is what it is all about. As I continue my work back in the classroom, I hope I can find new and doable ways to bridge classrooms and libraries together because both are essential to a great school and learning experiences that really make a difference for our kids. Though we may be in different spaces, I am proud to soldier on with a common mission! All the best, Buffy

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  11. Buffy, Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom over the years. I often came to your blog for inspiration, and while your voice will be missed by those of us soldiering on in school libraries, it’s heartening to hear you have found a path that’s working for you. All the very best to you, I’ll be dipping in to your new blog; I just know there’s still going to be lots that’s relevant and inspiring. ✌️✨

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    1. Catherine: I feel a great sense of humility reading your kind words! I am happy you’ll be following the new blog, and I hope I will have experiences and strategies to share that will be helpful to all educators in many different roles. I feel like this upcoming school year is going to be a big one—I have lots of new ideas and strategies I want to try, and I’m going to be bold and take a leap of faith with some new approaches I’m trying. I can’t wait to see what my students and I learn together! I am thankful that social media brings educators like us together from all corners of the world. With earnest appreciation, Buffy

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  12. Buffy as I read your post, I felt as though you were inside my head, reading my thoughts. I too struggle as we compete for time with students to make a difference in a busy school day, and miss having my own classes. I’m once again inspired by your thoughts and journey, and will definitely follow your new blog as you change direction.

    You are lucky to have a supportive principal. And as stated by others before, your mother would be immensely proud of the difference you have made for many students AND many professionals around the globe! Thank you.

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    1. Hello there Linda! I always wondered if other librarians felt this way, and comments like yours now have me thinking more of us struggle with these challenges than we might think. I think these are the silent struggles of the profession, and I hope there will be more conversations about them because they are important needs that need to be acknowledged and addressed. Thank you so much for your kind words and support, and I am so happy you’ll be following the new blog! Very best, Buffy

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  13. Buffy so much of this posts resonates with my current situation, except in my case my school wants to keep me in the library. I try to focus on the pluses of this but I love the stimulation of the classroom and seriously miss the ongoing engagement that teaching students within a subject setting brings. Luckily for me I have a Year 12 history class to keep the frustrations in check!
    So many of us have grown in our professions because of your work. Thanks you so much for making me the practitioner that I am today. Best wishes for your continued enjoyment in delivering Language Arts. I am away to cogitate on your decision and reflect further on my own!
    P.S. will you be starting a new blog for me to follow you through the next phase?

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    1. Margaret, that is awesome you have a history class you can still teach while continuing to be the full time librarian! There are so many wonderful aspects to being a school librarian that are different from being in the classroom, but that community building and bonding that happens in the classroom is magical, too. When I was the librarian at Creekview High, I also taught English classes at our district evening campus from 2006-2009—that was a wonderful (though exhausting) situation. Thank you for the kind words and good wishes!!! I am also delighted you’ll still be following over at the new blog! I have a LOT of new ideas I want to try this year, so stay tuned! Very best, Buffy

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  14. Buffy, I admire your fortitude and passion for your students. You have been a leader in the field. I’m glad you have followed your inner compass to move toward what makes you come alive which is connecting with students in ELA. I am also glad to see you step forward from deep grief into healing and new ventures. My husband passed away Dec. 2015 so I can relate to the journey of finding one’s way of healing and new directions with much prayer and support. I am in a time of discovery right now. I wish you all the best as you continue to step forward. Keep shining in your new role and blog and in life! Best, Christie Riegelhaupt, Supervisor of Content, ProQuest

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    1. Christie, first my deepest sympathy to you on losing your husband in December of 2015. I so identify with you about being in a time of discovery. Secondly, I am beyond humbled by your kind words, and I genuinely appreciate your good wishes and encouragement. You know I’ll be infusing information literacy into my ELA classes and great content from vendors like ProQuest! Thank you for all the support you’ve given me, and you have my good thoughts and prayers as you continue your journey of healing and new directions. With heartfelt gratitude, Buffy

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  15. Buffy, I am truly saddened to read this post. I feel a library star has gone out in a sky too dark already. I do wish you all the very best with your new adventures and thank you most sincerely for your sharing from which I have gained so much.

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    1. Doug: As always, you have a way with words. I will always be grateful for the sage advice you gave me early in my career and time spent together with you and your lovely wife in Minnesota. I will also forever appreciate how you supported me when I blogged unpopular stances on issues in school librarianship and the moral support you gave when I was being attacked on all sides. Last but not least, I’ll always treasure your kind words at ISTE 2011 when I did the enchantment talk. From 2012-2016, I frankly was just battered professionally though I tried to rise above it and continue to do good work—-I think I actually did some of my best work during this time though it went largely unnoticed. That, combined with so much turmoil in my family life with my parents, was incredibly difficult in so many ways.

      Though it was a path that was sad and hurtful at times, I’m thankful I found my way back to the classroom. It’s hard work, but it is also JOYFUL work being in the trenches side by side with kids every day, and I am glad to be there. I know now it is where I am supposed to be. I appreciate your good wishes so much, and I hope you’ll still follow me over at the new blog. Though I’m not in the library anymore, I know we share the same mission of helping public education become a better place for both children and teachers. Thank you for your leadership and for your support of a girl from a small town in Georgia!!! Buffy

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  16. Dear Buffy, Thanks for all of your library advocacy through the years. Glad to hear you have found happiness back in the classroom. Best wishes.

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  17. Like Jennifer, I have never commented on your blog, but as so many others have stated more eloquently than I ever could, your blog has been transformational to my own professional learning. I, like others followed and read your blog as your posts were/are always thoughtful, honest and reflective and what I believed it meant to be a school librarian. Your posts constantly pushed my thinking and in turn improved my practice.

    I too have contemplated going back into the classroom – being with a group for an entire year allows you to go on a deeper learning journey together which cannot be duplicated when you are in the library. It may be how I end up spending my final few years in education – time will tell. I am happy that you feel this is the best place for you and admire how transparent you have been during your transition back to a classroom.

    I understand the transition you are making, it makes sense given your current position and I look forward to reading the posts in your new blog (which is already in my Feedly feed). Even though you were in the classroom this past year, I still found what you were doing interesting and thought provoking and often discussed what you were doing with my colleagues. With our province putting a stronger new emphasis on writing, I will be rereading your blog and reminding teachers to look to your blog for ideas and learning, many of which will already know of your transition being followers themselves.

    Thank you for sharing your learning with me and continue to learn from you as you embark on your next journey as one of my treasured PLN mentors.

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    1. Good morning Laurie! I know I’ve said this elsewhere in this thread, but I genuinely feel a tremendous sense of humility to have been able to inspire or help others through this blog. That pull back to the classroom definitely resonates with many fellow librarians, and I am just thankful I had the chance and opportunity that was right to do so—as you contemplate the same, just know I really understand that mix of feelings you are probably experiencing. You’ll know if and when the time is right to do so!

      I am especially glad the posts from this past year were helpful, and I hope the ones on the new blog will be as well! Thank you for your beautiful and eloquent post here in the discussion thread—it has inspired me! With appreciation, Buffy

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  18. I just wanted to send a thank you and well wishes as you move forward. I began following your blog when I was in library school and, although I never worked in an instructional capacity (I’m at a nonprofit, An Open Book Foundation I often shared your teaching tips and tools with my children’s teachers and with the classrooms in which we visit for work. Your creativity is inspirational, but the generous, clear way in which you shared those ideas with others has been a gift I’ve treasured. Thank you! Be well— Kit

    >

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    1. Good morning Kit! I so appreciate those thoughtful reflections and that the ideas and strategies in the blog have found their way to other teachers and children through you and your work with Open Book Foundation. I never cease to be awed when someone tells me the blog and what I’ve shared have been helpful or inspiring in some way—just thank you for taking time to share your experiences and reflections as well as your good wishes. Best, Buffy

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  19. Buffy, I remember meeting you during out National Board journey, and you have been an inspiration to me ever since! I don’t know of a better example of a professional who reflects on the impact of her work on students – in the media center or the classroom. Thank you for sharing your thinking with the rest of us. I look forward to reading your new blog!

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    1. Laura, thank you so much for those kind words!!! The students are truly who and what it is all about—I love that each school year brings new energy and new insights wherever I go. I’m glad we are connected on Twitter, and thank you for joining me on the new blog! Very best, Buffy

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  20. I’ve just arrived, but I will continue to follow on your new venture. Congratulations on all that you’ve accomplished here!

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  21. Hi Buffy
    I am an a librarian at the Joseph Sibilly Elementary School in St Thomas. I just completed my 5th year. I was a middle school social studies teacher before that. My first encounter with you was from the audience of the 2011 ISTE Conference in Philadelphia. You were inspiring. I have been an infrequent visitor to your blog, but not for lack of interest. I remember reading about your mom’s illness and thought of you when my sister was diagnosed. My sympathies to you and yours.

    As I do much of my reflection and goal setting during the summer I bumped into recent posting. Your brand, “The Unquiet Librarian” helped me to search for my own when I was just starting out.
    My library’s tag line is “The social and Intellectual place.” I do all the usual stuff and then some. Children have open access to our library during lunch. The primary students seem to enjoy this most. The library is a safe place for them play and interact and they really take ownership of their space.

    When I began my transition from the classroom to librarian I was a little frightened, but then I remembered the “Unquiet Librarian.” This is what I got from that encounter, 1st, libraries don’t have to be quiet places and 2nd, a library can be a clean canvas to paint on. I include pastoral elements into my daily interactions and try not to be so busy that I don’t notice when a visit is more than just a drop in. It’s wonderful. Thank you

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    1. Christine—thank you so much for sharing those reflections. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but anytime someone shares how my work–whether it was a presentation or something I’ve written—has influenced them in some way, I feel incredibly honored and humbled to have made a difference in a good way for someone else. Your students are lucky to have such a caring and creative librarian!!!

      On a personal note, I appreciate those kind condolences and am so sorry that your family has faced this same battle. It is such an aggressive and ugly disease, and I pray that researchers will find better ways to detect it sooner as well as more effective treatments.

      With gratitude and respect, Buffy

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